Don't Make It Difficult For People to Do Business With You

I called Hawaiian Airlines last week to book a flight for my wife.  After booking, I was told I couldn't pay for it with my credit card because the name on the credit card has to be the same as the passenger's name.  Never mind that we live at the same address and have the same last name, the answer was still "no."  I was told we had to go to the airport ticket counter, present my ID and pay in person.  Hawaiian Airlines, which recently emerged from bankruptcy, has violated the #1 rule in business, which is DON'T MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR PEOPLE TO DO BUSINESS WITH YOU.

On Saturday (7/17) my wife and I drove clear across town to McCarran Airport in Las Vegas and went to the Hawaiian Airlines ticket counter at 1:30 pm.  It was closed.  I called Hawaiian Airlines and was told we'd had to come back when the counter opened - at 11 pm!  The hours were never mentioned to me when I was told to go to the airport to pay.  The customer service rep I spoke with still wouldn't take my credit card over the phone, so I asked to speak with a supervisor.  The supervisor listened to my story and agreed to accept the card over the phone "as a one time courtesy."  Gee, I'm trying to give them $1800 and they're going to extend me the courtesy of accepting it!

It's a terrible business policy to make it difficult for customers to do business with you, including erecting barriers for people who are trying to give you their money.  Who comes up with such asinine policies and why are such people allowed to keep their jobs?  Unfortunately, Hawaiian Airlines is the only carrier that flys to Pago Pago, American Samoa.  If there were any competition, perhaps their stupidity and arrogance might be somewhat tempered.

New Math

I went to Wal-Mart Sunday and gave the cashier (an adult woman) a coupon for some frozen dinners that were advertised as "5 for $10."  She looked at it for a few seconds and then said, "I have to ring them up separately.  How much is that each?"  I suppose I should have told her $1.25.  She wouldn't have known any difference. 

Do they not teach ANYTHING in school anymore?

Foreign Aid

Some Pakastani government blowhard is promising to respond with "full force" if the U.S. carries out any military action within his country's borders again.  Fair enough.  But about those foreign aid checks we send to Pakistan, including over $1-billion a year to "fight terrorism"...  let's just stop payment on the last one we sent and not send any more in the future.  Our deficit is at an alltime high - we're broke.  Let's use our tax dollars on something more important.

George Bush Did It

OK, so Osama Bin Laden is dead.  President Barrack Hussen Obama apparently gave the go ahead for our military forces to finish off the rag-headed bastard.  Good job.  However, for the past 2-1/2 years, everything that's happened in Obama's administration has been blamed on George Bush.  But you don't hear his name now.

TSA Idiots

Going through security in Newport News, Virginia, I handed the TSA agent my boarding pass and my new Passport Card.  He'd apparently never seen one before and didn't know what to make of it.  "Do you have a driver's license?", he asked.  "I do, but that is a U.S. Government issued photo ID, it should be sufficient", I said. "I need to see your driver's license", he said. I could have argued further, but I've found that's it's pointless to argue with TSA agents.  They're all idiots. 

Your Tax Dollars at Work

I had to call the IRS on Wednesday regarding an issue with one of my businesses.  I dialed the number on the IRS notice, waited on hold about 10 minutes, and after explaing my situation to the woman who answered, was told "you called the wrong number, you need to call 800-829-3903."  "That's the same number I called, the one printed on the notice", I said.  "You got transferred to me, so you must have entered something wrong."  Of course, it's MY fault!  I should have known.

The only thing I entered was my tax ID number, which is what I was prompted for.  "Oh, you shouldn't have entered that, you should just wait for assistance."  How the hell was I supposed to know that?  Why prompt me for my tax ID number in the first place?

She transferred me to another woman, who kept me on hold for another 10 minutes.  After explaining my situation to woman #2, she said "you called the wrong place, you'll have to call the Seattle office."  So much for printing clear instructions on IRS notices.

I called the Seattle office and got a recording telling me everyone was busy assisting other customers.  Yes, of course they were.  I left my name and number and am still waiting on a return call.

Is there any wonder why this country is on the road to ruin?

We'll Be Landing Soon

I was on a flight to Memphis recently when the flight attendant announced that we would soon be landing "in the Memphis area."  In the Memphis area?  I was hoping to land at the Memphis International Airport, not just somewhere "in the area." 

My Blog

I started writing down my experiences with idiots several years ago with the intention of starting a blog.  Well, here it is.  Trouble is, there are so many of them and they're everywhere.  You've probably met many of them too.

What A Way to Run An Airline

I received an e-mail from Hawaiian Airlines inviting me to check-in online for my flight.  I attempted to do so and got an error message that said “special assistance is required, please check in at the Hawaiian Airlines airport ticket counter.”  When I called to ask why “special assistance” was required, they said it because I was flying to Pago Pago and couldn’t check-in online.  So why did they send me an e-mail inviting me to check-in online, thereby wasting my time when I attempted to do so?  Did they not know I was flying to Pago Pago?  Indeed it shows Pago Pago as my destination on the very e-mail that told me I could check in-online.  Another example of corporate stupidity.

Just The Fax Please Ma'am

I called the IRS today to get a fax number.  On the face of the IRS form I filled out, it says “call 1-800-829-1040 if you want to fax your request.”  I called.  1-800-829-1040 is not a fax number.  After waiting on hold for over 20 minutes, I got to speak with a nice lady who, when I asked for a fax number to fax the form to, had no clue what I was talking about.  She said “I can’t give out fax numbers to taxpayers.”  When I told her that I was merely following the directions on the face of the form, she put me on hold while she went to the bathroom, or perhaps on vacation.  When she came back, she said “I still can’t find a fax number for you.”  When I asked to speak to her supervisor, she said “just a minute while I try one more place.”  She finally came back on the line and gave me a fax number for somebody named Lynecia.  I faxed the form to Lynecia. 

Small, Medium or Large

At a Subway several years back, I ordered a "small" Coke.  "We don't have small, we only have medium, large and jumbo", the mentally-challenged doofus said.  I pointed out that, by definition, you can't have a medium if there's nothing smaller, because medium comes between something smaller and something larger.  He didn't understand.  I think he had a ring in his ear.

 

Recently, the kids wanted to go to Peter Piper Pizza.  If you've never been there, avoid it at all cost.  It's full of screaming little brats.  Anyway, I ordered the food, and then, based on the sign, ordered small drinks (the sign listed "kids", "small" and "large" sizes).  Since my run-in several years ago with the doofus at a Subway, I've always looked at the sign and ordered one of the sizes specified on the sign, but even that didn't work this time.  The high-school kid working the counter set several "kids" sized cups on the counter.  "I wanted THAT size", I said, pointing to the somewhat larger cup.  "That's a medium", he said.  "We only have "small", "medium" and "large."  "According to the sign", I said, "you have kids, small and large sizes, no mediums.  And I ordered a small, which is THAT one."  I still don't think he understood.  He had a ring in his ear too.

Going Postal

I went to the Post Office today to renew the kid’s passports.  I had all the forms filled-out beforehand.  I had new passport photos plus the old passports with me.  I brought the kids along, as required, plus my wife.  (If you're getting passports for minor children, both parents must be present).  The guy at the counter glanced at it all and said "you need their birth certificates."  I asked "why do I need their birth certificates when I have their old passports?"  "Because that's the rule for kids", he said.  So I drove all the way home, retrieved the birth certificates, and headed back to the Post Office.  When I got to the counter, the dude I had dealt with earlier was nowhere to be found (undoubtedly on one of his many daily 2-hour breaks), so I presented all my documentation to the lady.  She looked it all over and said "you don't need these birth certificates since you have their old passports."  When I told her I had just driven home to retrieve said birth certificates because the guy who waited on me earlier said they were required, she said "he should know better than that."  I think they make this stuff up as they go along.

Sprint Customer Service

I called Sprint Customer Service to question one of the charges on my cell phone bill.  After all the usual screwing around (press “1” for English; enter your account number; press “3” for billing options; press “0” to speak with a representative), I was placed on hold and had to listen to the usual drivel (“your call is important to us”, etc.)  After a few minutes of this, another recording tells me the wait to speak to a customer service representative is approximately 20-minutes.   Apparently Sprint thinks its customers have nothing better to do than to wait on hold for 20-minutes.  I hung up and tried again later that afternoon.  Same result.  I tried again the next day and the wait was still 20-minutes.  I tried a fourth time just after the July 4^th holiday, only this time it said “all customer service reps are busy, please try your call again later.”  So, I decided to go to Sprint’s website and submit my billing inquiry via the web site.  I did, making sure to include my name, my address and my cell phone number.  The next day, I received an e-mail from Sprint that said before they could help me, I’d have to respond and tell them my name, my address and my cell phone number.  I guess the morons didn’t read my original e-mail.